“We all have our own vampires. A creature that appears in the dark and eventually suck blood.” I remember using these lines when I was still studying literature in college. Surprisingly good timing for I see them all around. And if I’m not careful I’ll end up becoming like them. (Nyay parang ayoko naman non.)
You know how guilty I’m feeling recently. I don’t know why I’m being rude these past days. I’m not like this. I remember one close friend saying “I don’t wanna be the person I dislike.” That’s how I feel, too. But sometimes, unconsciously, I end up doing that.
It’s amazing how You created us. You crafted us in such a way that no 2 persons are alike. We’re all unique in our own ways. Our personalities differ. Our strengths and weaknesses vary. Sometimes though we tend to focus on the differences we have which make it difficult for us to understand each other. I know we’re not perfect. I know we’re all bound to commit mistakes. We’re prejudiced and we have our own limits and standards. People in the dark. That’s what we are in times of confusion and tension also (if I may add) for during these moments we tend to be blinded by our own hurts, anger, resentment, even biases. I believe that we are inherently good but then we come from different backgrounds. We have our own personal histories and these things greatly influence how we think, act, even how we relate with others. We are products of the many events in our past – the different people we encountered and the numerous events that took place whether briefly or not. Despite the goodness we have brought by the grace of God, I believe that we all have our dark sides. We all have our vampires which swiftly and smoothly appear in the dark and hunger and search for fresh blood.
Funny, I just remembered a friend’s word before I went back on board. Be careful with vampires she said and then she gave out a loud laugh. I shrugged it off knowing I have enough patience to deal with difficult people. I can always find a way to understand. But some days can be a total drag especially when so many crazy things are going around. Things that are beyond my control. Or things that are too tiny and merit no one’s attention but are suddenly turning serious. It can be a taxing experience. There are people sucking my joy, peace, and in a way strength. I could just keep quiet. I could just let it pass. But there are times when I just can’t. There are times when I feel my love tank is quickly getting empty. There’s nothing more to give other than a sulk, a shout, a cold touch, or worst a hard penetrating bite. 😦 Yeah I’m a vampire, too.
But it’s Your love that will continuously mold and perfect us. It’s your gentle touch that will remind us to offer a tight embrace instead of picking up a fight. I pray that as I work on the shortcomings I have, I will learn to make allowance for the mistakes of others, too. After all, I am just like them, a vampire who’s killing herself trying to be like her God. 🙂 Grant me more patience. Help me see Your face in other people. In times of difficulty, help me remember that every person is a temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16). This way I can treat them with respect, understanding, and most importantly love. Let everything I do be done with love (1 Corinthians 3:16). A love that’s pure. A love that nurtures. A love that cures. 🙂
This is to inspire me to be a little more kinder than necessary kahit mahirap. 🙂