Just Wait

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I am waiting. I am dying. I am trying so hard to ignore this ugly feeling. “Hang on. You’ll get there somehow.” I’ve been telling that myself for many hours. What a torture! One thing I hate about waiting – you don’t know how long before it’ll come. Then I realized you’re actually not sure if it will really come. 😦 You just keep hoping, praying, and guess what??? Waiting!!! There’s nothing else you can do. It takes a lot to bear the agony.

I was looking forward to visit this beautiful port once again. For many weeks, I’ve been thinking about Champagne Bay and the last time we were there. Happy images started parading in my head – white sand, cool water, bright sky, yummy lobsters, beautiful tan lines (thanks to Mr. Sun). Perfect timing for I was off in the morning. The only thing that didn’t fit the picture was that I had to wait for friends who were also dying to go out. How unlucky for us that most passengers opted to go out late. Open tender had to be adjusted. So sadly again I had to wait. I started losing hope for I’ll be working early in the afternoon. I was thinking of backing out and just wait for maybe months (ang tagal naman) before we’re back here again.  Good thing Ms. Elsa offered to swap schedules with me. She knows how I wanted it so badly. I can never thank her enough. You could just imagine the joy I felt once the announcement was made. Open tender!!! Hurrrrrrrraaaaaayyyyyyyy!!! I hurriedly went to Mary’s cabin. But then she’s still not dressed up. She just finished her duty. Also, Rain and her friend were still in the mess. Almost there, I thought. Just be patient. But then those few minutes felt like forever. 😦

When all of us were finally together, we headed to the tender area. To my dismay, we were put on hold and were asked to join the next boat. I didn’t want to start complaining nor start feeling sorry. Negative thoughts only sap peace and strength. I didn’t want to kill the little hope I have which was starting to flicker. I can do this. Or can I??? Good thing I did. One by one and carefully we went inside. The waves were dancing wildly. We can feel the tiny boat grooving from left to right. Then we finally started moving, I felt like winning an award. Haha!!! My happiness was cut short though because usually it only takes 15-20 minutes to get to the island but then due to a series of unfortunate events, I had to wait again. You know how bad it feels when you see something you’re aching to have, you know it’s almost within your reach. Suddenly someone comes in and tells you with glaring eyes you can’t have it just yet. That’s exactly how I felt. We were a few meters from the pontoon when we were forced to stop because the other tender boat was still there. They seemed to be having a minor problem. I can see it, I can see it. I just can’t touch it. Is this my marshmallow test? It didn’t help that the other passengers were upset. I felt tired and seasick. We were rocking and the more I can feel it because we’re stuck. The woman next to me couldn’t breathe. She was claustrophobic. We had to open the window on top because the one near us won’t work. Haaaaay when will all of these crazy things stop? Just when I was about to close my eyes I felt a sudden jolt that really made me smile. The wait was over. I wanted to jump. Truly, good things still happen even late in the game. Time check: Almost 1 o’clock. I only have like an hour to spare but I really didn’t mind. I can make the most of that little time. And I did with dear friends. 🙂 So in the end, my waiting paid off.

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You know how beautiful it feels when you waited so long for something and you finally got it in the end. It’s hard to describe. Beautiful is an understatement. It’s something more than that. It’s like winning. It’s like conquering something big and grand. You feel like giving up to avoid the terrible feeling brought by waiting, of not really knowing, of holding on to nothing except the belief that what you’re waiting for is worth it. It’s hard. Of course you want instant gratification. You don’t want to delay your reward. Surely, it calls for discipline. It takes growing up. 🙂 It’s a battle waged within, a game played in mind. You forced yourself to think that what you’re waiting for is really important. You compromise present comfort and happiness for future rewards. A wise exchange, I must add. But then again so haaaaaaaard.

In the past I waited and was rewarded. I cried and I died but then again I came back to life and received my prize. At present I am waiting for many other things. And I am dying. Many times I’m crying. I wish to know when this will last. Every now and then I get impatient. Every now and then I get disappointed. But I’m certain that one day the agony will end and I will once again emerge triumphant. So while I’m waiting I’ll get busy and strive to be happy. Thanks for this special anecdote. Something to think about. It’s enough of an upper. It really means a lot. 🙂

I was thinking about this, when a thought bubble suddenly popped. I’ve seen this video a long time ago. May this inspire you and make you laugh.

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